{"product_id":"if-i-only-had-a-brain-t-shirt-scarecrow-woke-brain-broke","title":"Scarecrow Woke, Brain Broke","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eNestled in the wild, whisperin’ pines where the crows cackle louder than common sense and the straw men finally get called out, High in the Pines drops the \u003cstrong\u003eIf I Only Had a Brain T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e—a rainbow-haired, politically incorrect scarecrow roast that hits harder than a field full of reality checks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf I Only Had a Brain T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e Say it with straw and zero fucks on the \u003cstrong\u003eIf I Only Had a Brain T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e—a gloriously unhinged scarecrow stands proud in a golden field at sunset, rainbow dreads flowing, denim overalls patched with “Antifa,” “I Love Abortions,” and “Liberals Rule” badges, whistle necklace swinging, one mittened hand raised like he’s about to drop the dumbest take of the century, while massive bold “IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN” screams across the top and bottom like a tragic opera nobody asked for. This tee is for the shit-posters who live for the chaos, the ones who watch the circus burn and bring marshmallows, and anyone who wants to wear “I see through the bullshit” energy louder than a megaphone at a protest. Classic unisex fit, soft as a hay bale, and printed to last through every triggered reply and eye-roll chain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Comfort\u003c\/strong\u003e The Bella Canvas 3001 is a classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee that fits like a well-loved favorite. Soft cotton and quality print make users fall in love with it over and over again. These t-shirts have ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time, and dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer. Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, the Bella Canvas 3001 is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFlattering Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEthically Crafted\u003c\/strong\u003e Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSkin-Friendly Details\u003c\/strong\u003e The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Blends\u003c\/strong\u003e Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% cotton, 1% polyester Heather and Solid Blend colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBuilt for You\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for the ones who laugh at the absurdity, the shit-stirrers who know the scarecrow’s been running the show too long, and anyone who wants their shirt to trigger snowflakes while staying cozy. Whether you’re at the range, the rally, the bar, or just owning the timeline from your couch, this soft, high-quality tee is your go-to for turning heads, sparking meltdowns, and reminding everyone that brains are optional when the vibes are this good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eWear the \u003cstrong\u003eIf I Only Had a Brain T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the rainbow straw man do the talking—because sometimes the dumbest costume is the one wearing the truth. 🌾🔥😈\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44635939766317,"sku":"71322030003118870344","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44635939799085,"sku":"22652964018694160198","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44635939831853,"sku":"12627940059751334362","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44635939864621,"sku":"11240735469429847850","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44635939897389,"sku":"30667975464161375647","price":28.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44635939930157,"sku":"16752342973555959101","price":31.64,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/6327\/6589\/files\/1011873463333117850_2048.jpg?v=1775831792","url":"https:\/\/highinthepines.com\/products\/if-i-only-had-a-brain-t-shirt-scarecrow-woke-brain-broke","provider":"high in the pines","version":"1.0","type":"link"}