{"product_id":"nutzer-t-shirt-chonky-cheeks-zero-fucks-maximum-nuts","title":"Chonky Cheeks, Zero Fucks, Maximum Nuts","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eNestled in the wild, whisperin’ pines where the squirrels hoard more than just acorns and the jokes land low enough to make the trees blush, High in the Pines unleashes the \u003cstrong\u003eNutzer T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e—a fuzzy, filthy little bastard that turns “nut enthusiast” into high art and zero shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNutzer T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e Say it with cheeks full and zero regrets on the \u003cstrong\u003eNutzer T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e—a chonky squirrel stares straight ahead with big, unblinking eyes, paws crammed with overflowing nuts, cheeks ballooned like he’s smuggling the whole damn forest, while bold, dripping “NUTZER” crowns the chaos like a crown you never asked for but definitely deserve. This tee is for the nut-hoardin’ degenerates, the snack-attack legends, the ones who live by “if it fits, it ships… straight to my face”—perfect for casual hangs, barbecues where everyone’s judging your plate, or just flexing that “I’m not addicted, I’m committed” energy louder than a nutcracker at Christmas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Comfort\u003c\/strong\u003e The Bella Canvas 3001 is a classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee that fits like a well-loved favorite. Soft cotton and quality print make users fall in love with it over and over again. These t-shirts have ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time, and dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer. Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, the Bella Canvas 3001 is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFlattering Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEthically Crafted\u003c\/strong\u003e Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSkin-Friendly Details\u003c\/strong\u003e The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric Blends\u003c\/strong\u003e Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% cotton, 1% polyester Heather and Solid Blend colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBuilt for You\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for the snack fiends who treat nuts like currency, the cheek-stuffers who live life one handful at a time, and anyone who wants their shirt to scream “yeah, I’m that guy” without saying a word. Whether you’re chillin’ with the crew, raiding the pantry at 3 a.m., or just owning the day with unapologetic nut lust, this soft, high-quality tee is your go-to for turning heads, sparking laughs, and proving that some addictions look adorable in cartoon form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eWear the \u003cstrong\u003eNutzer T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e and let your inner squirrel run wild—because sometimes the best way to live is with your cheeks full and your standards empty. 🐿️🥜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44635865743405,"sku":"13183739577841262260","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ S","offer_id":44635865776173,"sku":"80978610602160581364","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ S","offer_id":44635865808941,"sku":"31358723422142159424","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44635865841709,"sku":"22994558967650705418","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ M","offer_id":44635865874477,"sku":"27753640460939496049","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ M","offer_id":44635865907245,"sku":"12363437922679941897","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44635865940013,"sku":"18595806571480583505","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ L","offer_id":44635865972781,"sku":"12807806050077072775","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ L","offer_id":44635866005549,"sku":"19166085302791229492","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44635866038317,"sku":"60406601887703284801","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44635866071085,"sku":"25903803127257908582","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ XL","offer_id":44635866103853,"sku":"12576150124395404765","price":25.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44635866136621,"sku":"39813113469277614740","price":28.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44635866169389,"sku":"64633619514540900007","price":28.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ 2XL","offer_id":44635866202157,"sku":"33671168753133614921","price":28.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44635866234925,"sku":"30422766557869099502","price":31.64,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":44635866267693,"sku":"27712571199501604036","price":31.64,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fuchsia \/ 3XL","offer_id":44635866300461,"sku":"11617356059721822637","price":31.64,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/6327\/6589\/files\/grok-image-57ce712e-29c9-40e8-8609-c26adb71fe38.jpg?v=1781203179","url":"https:\/\/highinthepines.com\/products\/nutzer-t-shirt-chonky-cheeks-zero-fucks-maximum-nuts","provider":"high in the pines","version":"1.0","type":"link"}