{"product_id":"stuff-the-bird","title":"Stuff The Bird Sweater","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStuff the Bird\u003c\/strong\u003e Sit down. Shut up. Open wide. Thanksgiving just turned into a cock-gobblin’ contact sport and the blessing ain’t surviving the first course. You didn’t come to hold hands and whisper thanks. You came to wreck the table, make the room choke on the joke, and watch polite people pretend they can’t read. Give thanks. Gobble hard. This sweatshirt is for the filthy animal at dinner who came hungry and left nobody innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Comfort\u003c\/strong\u003e 80% cotton, 20% recycled polyester (varies per color). Medium-heavy 8.25 oz\/yd² (280 g\/m²) 3-end fleece with a 100% cotton face. Tight-knit and soft enough for the food coma, heavy enough for the lecture. Under 5% shrinkage — unlike your reputation after they read it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFlattering Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular fit crew neck that runs true to size. Double-needle topstitch on all seams so it holds through seconds, thirds, and the walk of shame to the couch. Warm. Stylish. No table manners.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEthically Crafted\u003c\/strong\u003e Recycled polyester in the blend. Durable 3-end fleece instead of a one-wash holiday gag. The mouth on it is reckless. The build isn’t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSkin-Friendly Details\u003c\/strong\u003e Tear-away label so the only irritation at dinner is you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBuilt for You\u003c\/strong\u003e You’re the reason the kids’ table keeps looking over. Dirty-joke cousin. Dinner-table weapon. The one who hears “let us pray” and already picked a worse use for a mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eWear the Stuff the Bird and gobble like you mean it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67548488892461,"sku":"11107745556295067700","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67548488925229,"sku":"86544880339298328344","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67548488957997,"sku":"31363540242384240616","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67548488990765,"sku":"15975802884978965670","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67548489023533,"sku":"23121196316029548721","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67548489056301,"sku":"44095250364247408832","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67548489089069,"sku":"22745631211530783158","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67548489121837,"sku":"29324963227946293165","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67548489154605,"sku":"95099976180321034373","price":30.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67548489187373,"sku":"29195324033481584850","price":30.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/6327\/6589\/files\/grok-image-62851a74-052d-42de-963d-b8bf5ed5e6b9.jpg?v=1789818959","url":"https:\/\/highinthepines.com\/products\/stuff-the-bird","provider":"high in the pines","version":"1.0","type":"link"}