Swallowed More DNA Than 23andMe
Nestled in the wild, whisperin’ pines where the only thing thicker than the underbrush is the load you’re proudly hoardin’, High in the Pines unleashes the Tadpole Collector T-Shirt—a shameless, ball-draining badge of honor for the relentless cum-guzzlers who treat every swallow like a goddamn trophy hunt.
Tadpole Collector T-Shirt Wear your degeneracy loud and proud with the Tadpole Collector T-Shirt—a vicious, unfiltered roast that turns “swallow” into a full-time occupation. This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee wraps your semen-slurpin’ obsession in buttery-soft comfort, perfect for post-blowjob flexin’, bar confessions where everyone pretends they’ve never done it, or just remindin’ the world that some collectors don’t stop at stamps—they go straight for the swimmers.
Premium Comfort Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (4.2 oz/yd², 142 g/m²), this lightweight, breathable fabric is ideal for sticky nights, hungover brunches, or layering with a guilty grin. Fabric blends include: Ash and Heather Prism: 99% cotton, 1% polyester Heather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester Athletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
Flattering Fit Designed with a retail fit for both laid-back and semi-formal shame walks, featuring a classic crew neckline that pairs seamlessly with whatever excuse you’re wearin’ today. Ribbed knit collars and tapered shoulders ensure a sharp silhouette, while dual side seams maintain shape through every cringe and cackle.
Ethically Crafted Proudly produced by Bella+Canvas in the US and internationally, using humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable practices. Certified by the Fair Labor Association and Platinum WRAP, this tee matches your ball-draining spirit with real-deal values.
Skin-Friendly Details A tear-away label eliminates irritation, lettin’ you rock the “Tadpole Collector” truth with zero itch and maximum shameless shrug.
Built for You Tailored for the throat queens & kings who’ve turned “cum dumpster” into a resume bullet point, the deep-throat disasters who collect more swimmers than a sperm bank, and anyone who wants their shirt to scream “I swallow and I’m proud” without openin’ their mouth (because it’s probably still full). Whether you’re relivin’ the glory at the bar, flexin’ at brunch, or just ownin’ the day with zero fucks left for dignity, this soft, high-quality tee is your go-to for turnin’ heads, sparklin’ knowing winces, and remindin’ the world that some collections are measured in loads, not stamps.
Wear the Tadpole Collector T-Shirt and let your filthy legend status shine—because real ones don’t spit, they collect. 🐸💦😈