Stuff the Bird Sit down. Shut up. Open wide. Thanksgiving just turned into a cock-gobblin’ contact sport and the blessing ain’t surviving the first course. You didn’t come to hold hands and whisper thanks. You came to wreck the table, make the room choke on the joke, and watch polite people pretend they can’t read. Give thanks. Gobble hard. This sweatshirt is for the filthy animal at dinner who came hungry and left nobody innocent.
Premium Comfort 80% cotton, 20% recycled polyester (varies per color). Medium-heavy 8.25 oz/yd² (280 g/m²) 3-end fleece with a 100% cotton face. Tight-knit and soft enough for the food coma, heavy enough for the lecture. Under 5% shrinkage — unlike your reputation after they read it.
Flattering Fit Regular fit crew neck that runs true to size. Double-needle topstitch on all seams so it holds through seconds, thirds, and the walk of shame to the couch. Warm. Stylish. No table manners.
Ethically Crafted Recycled polyester in the blend. Durable 3-end fleece instead of a one-wash holiday gag. The mouth on it is reckless. The build isn’t.
Skin-Friendly Details Tear-away label so the only irritation at dinner is you.
Built for You You’re the reason the kids’ table keeps looking over. Dirty-joke cousin. Dinner-table weapon. The one who hears “let us pray” and already picked a worse use for a mouth.
Wear the Stuff the Bird and gobble like you mean it.
